hello 2017?

So my last post was... 3 years ago? 

Hi there ghost readers. It's currently 11:04PM and while waiting for my clay mask to dry I decided to pay a visit to this old dusty blog. The one thing that kept me going through my dark times in high school. Today is March 7, 2017. What has happened since?

1. Currently doing my degree in mechanical engineering. Year 1 semester 2. How is it? Stressful, painful, tears have been shed but honestly university life is one hell of an amazing journey. Met so many people who I now hold close in my heart. Made friends, lost friends. Made unforgettable memories and experiencing life in a whole different perspective. I love every single moment of it.
2. I have 2 beautiful and amazing nieces! Sharifah Aina Afrina (7/12/2013) and Sharifah Naila Maisara (14/5/2016). Ibu loves the both of you very much.
3. About a year ago I made the ever so stupid decision to download tinder. Met a guy, let's call him Jibut. We matched, we talked aaaand oops I kind of fell for him. Putting aside his looks (he is flawless, no joke and very very handsome), I honestly can't seem to figure out the exact reason why I like him.. it's been about 7 months and I still have a teeny crush on him. We went out once, he didn't make any form of contact (on WhatsApp) after that. Came to a realisation that he probably doesn't like like me. That's just my life lol not once have I had my feelings reciprocated. Life isn't fair, we move on. (i cant move on someone help pls)
4. Fucbois are everywhere. Beware.
5. Choose your friends wisely. Important important important.

I am 19. Turning 20 this August. Kind of a big deal since I will no longer be a 'teen', slowly entering the world of young adulthood where responsibilities will become your priorities. Am I ready? Definitely not. But I am excited to see what the future hold for me and what I am capable of doing.

I made this blog when I was 12 and that was the best decision I have ever made. It's always interesting to look back at my posts every 2 or 3 years to see how I've aged, to see what dilemmas I've had, to see how I've matured, to see how I've changed. And trust me I have changed. A lot.

In high school I've had moments where I didn't want to continue. Suicide was on my mind but somehow (thankfully) I never had the courage to pick up the knife. To overdose on the pills. A part of me wanted to be free from everything. A part of me didn't have the heart/guts to do something so stupid. 

Now that I am in university I have all the reasons to continue living, to keep pushing through the hard times. The people that I have met are honestly amazing. Always having my back, telling me what's right when I'm wrong, crying together, laughing together. The life that I live today as a 19-year-old is nowhere near perfect, but I am thankful for it. 

Hoping that this year will be a good one. Goodnight.